My Workout Video

So on a different kind of note for this blog, I'm going to talk about fitness.

*cue hysterical laughter*

...No, but really.

I mean, yes I would rather talk about chocolate...or bread...or wine...or how much I love my couch...but no. 

I'm going to talk about how I work all of those delightful things off of my flabtastic bod instead.

Not because I'm Skinny McHottersons, or because I'm a qualified nutritionist.

But because I have two kids, which means I have no time on my hands and I kind of look like Jabba the Hut.

And I figured if either of those struggles are things you can relate to, it might be worth it to share the workout video I've been using that is relatively conducive to my insane life. 

[Disclaimer: If you're a super athletic gym rat or say.. Jillian Michaels, just stop here. This is for losers, like me, who cry for their mommies in a puddle of their own urine after going up a flight of stairs. I mean, you're more than welcome to keep reading if you and your hot friends need something to laugh about over skinny margaritas tonight, but if you're actually considering this as something that might work for you...it's probably not. It's definitely in the Beginners/Whiny Babies section of the fitness aisle. Just to warn you.]

Source

Leslie Sansone's Walk at Home.

(Click on the picture to view it on Amazon.)

WHY I LOVE IT:

1.) She's not annoying.

I realize this is kind of nitpicky of me, but that's one of my biggest issues with workout videos.

I don't like idiots. 

Or people yelling at me.

Especially idiots yelling at me.

Can I get an Amen?

I can honestly say that Leslie is cute and encouraging, without being fake and obnoxious.

And I kind of want to have coffee with her.

2.) It's Short.

Ok, this really is my main reason for loving it, but I thought I'd mention how non-idiotic she is first to get that out of the way.

But seriously, it takes 20 MINUTES.

That's it.

By the time I've warmed up, done the workout, stretched, and thrown a few crunches and yoga poses in there- it's only been roughly a half hour.

And that's usually all I can even make time for.

(Because, let's face it, 30 minutes is PLENTY of time for a child to eat a box of crayons or set the playroom on fire.)

But if I get the timing right between all the craziness of everyones meals, naps, and playtime...I can usually squeeze this in, if I try.

3.) It's still Challenging.

(Or not. See Disclaimer.)

I know the whole Walk at Home thing could easily make you think that it consists of just walking in place on your living room rug for 20 minutes, but AS EXCITING AS THAT SOUNDS, there's a lot more to it.

She incorporates kicks, punches, leg lifts, lunges, squats, and side steps to get as many muscles as possible fired up for toning and keeping that heart rate up. 

At the pace and steps that she has you walk at, each segment is roughly equivalent to doing a brisk mile.

There are 5 workouts to choose from, each with a different routine and focus.

-Classic Walk

-Sculpt your Arms

-Slim your Legs

-Trim your Tummy

-Speed Walk

I like the variety and that I don't have to get bored doing the same thing over and over again.

 And a lot of times I'll grab my little 3lb weights and do the workouts with those to get a bit more toning to my sad, flabby arms.

I know, I know... I'm pretty hardcore. Don't be too intimidated.

So overall I'm really appreciating it's ideal length and the reasonable balance it achieves between being too easy that it's a waste of time and being too challenging that I crumble on the floor halfway through it and yell at my TV before picking up the phone and ordering a pizza.

I did it almost every day (in addition to a few other things to help me lose weight..which I plan on writing about soon) during the month of December and lost 10 pounds.

DURING DECEMBER.

As in.. on top of all of the cookies and the wine and the 517 miniature Reeses I devoured.

I still lost weight.

It's a great video to use if you have a busy life, or if you're wanting to start exercising and you just need a good place to start.

I, personally, am totally diggin' it.

Feel free to come over and do it with me sometime.

There might or might not be celebratory cake afterwards.

Just kidding.

Kind of.

The Chronicles of Vienna's Hair: Volume XII

Something EPIC has happened.

Vienna's secret Rogaine use has led her to the exciting point of having hair long enough to FRENCH BRAID.

Ummm... Stop it.

I can't even handle how grown up she looks with this classic, trendy style that she's now able to rock.

And, obviously, how grown up she looks when she's sitting on the floor going through a package of my feminine products.

Sometimes my life just feels like I'm a tourist on a safari.

Like all I do is stop and observe wild animals in their natural habitat.

And take pictures, of course.

Oh, except I doubt real tourists on real safaris ever have to get out and clean up the rhinoceros poop or wipe a monkey's nose.

Oh look, now it's trying to stick the maxi pad on it's foot!

Shhh! They spook easy.

But hey, as animals go...she's a pretty happy one.

(Which is typical in wildlife when they feel free and unrestrained.)

"Oh Mommy, I love getting into all of your crap."

Yeah, I know.

At least you look good doing it, kid.

Craziness.

Hey, Look! Two pictures of the same child!

Oh, except that one is Luke as a baby, and one is Vienna as a baby.

CRAZY!

And then here we have two identical, very bug-eyed children.

One is me as a baby, and one is Boaz now.

Even MORE CRAZY!

IT'S LIKE WE HAD OUR OWN KIDS OR SOMETHING.

(My intellectual thought for the day.)

(Maybe week.)

Do Justice/Love Mercy

People! 

Our dear friends, Kyle and Johanna, are in the exciting, terrifying, thrilling, hopeful, expensive and LONG process of adopting a baby boy from The Republic of Congo!

Umm...How cute are they?

And wouldn't they just look like the DISGUSTINGLY PERFECT family with a little black baby thrown in the mix?

Kind of absurdly unfair to the rest of us, really.

I absolutely love adoption, the heart behind it, and the beautiful (small-scale) example it is of how God lovingly and sacrificially adopts us as his children.

But I absolutely hate what a drawn-out, expensive process it is.

I don't even understand it all. It makes me cranky and want to bust out the peanut butter cups and do some therapeutic stress eating.

So thanks a heap for the extra LB's, stuffy government officials!

*deep breath*

Ok, I'm done venting.

What I'm really here to talk about are these FABULOUS shirts that Johanna and Kyle are selling to raise funds for the adoption.

Aren't these totally awesome?

The adult sizes also come in grey and kelly green.

(Just picture it: throw one of these tee's on with printed skinnies, converse, a blazer, and a long necklace. Boom! Adorable outfit AND a good cause.)

There are also child size ones and..get this.. BABY ONESIES.

As in...YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY COULD BE MATCHING.

I love it.

And I might make it our Christmas Card theme next year.

Luke and I are getting them and you should get one too!

They say 'Do Justice, Love Mercy and Walk Humbly with your God. Micah 6:8'.

Which is just so perfectly appropriate considering that the country in Africa that they're adopting from is so ridden with war and disease that a ridiculously high percentage of these babies don't even make it past the age of 8. 

It's so sad.

BUT such an opportunity for God to show his love and might.

And to see justice, love, and mercy done through giving a baby there a safe, happy, godly home that they might never otherwise know.

Getting one of these shirts is a fantastic way to support our friends and the beautiful notion of adoption in general.

(And look fabulous doing it.)

Here's the link to the online store again: http://www.dojusticelovemercy.bigcartel.com/

30 Things About Luke

Today my smokin' hot husband is 30 years old!

Here are just a few things that make him the one of the most respectable men you'll ever meet and my knight in shining armor.

1.) He loves Mashed Potatoes.

It's an obsession, really.
As in, before marrying me, his grocery shopping usually just entailed buying a 5 pound bag of potatoes and milk.

Weirdo.


2.) He's going to be a Farmer.

He loves manual labor and is fiercely passionate about bacon. So it just makes sense that this is his dream. For the past few years, he's spent a good amount of his time reading and researching about all that farming entails, and how to build this kind of business from the ground up. It's quite impressive.
And I'm pretty stoked about being a farmer's wife.
Mostly because living out in the middle of nowhere should help me accomplish my life-long goal of never having to learn how to parallel park.

He has some exciting things planned for getting our farm off of the ground this year, which I'm told will involve cute little pigs, and you can keep up with it all on the Blog, the Facebook Page, and Twitter.

3.) He's very protective of me.

In addition to the traditional chivalry of opening my car door for me, getting rid of any TERRIFYING insects that have the audacity to enter my kitchen, and getting up in the middle of the night to check for intruders because I heard the wind blow and now I'm too scared to sleep, conversations like these are not uncommon:

*In the car, going out on a date*

Luke: "You look super hot, babe."

Me: "Aw thanks, hunny."

Luke: "And I killed anyone who didn't think so."

Me: "Oh. Uhh... that's...good?.."

Luke: "Yes."

Me: "..So wait, you're saying there are people who don't think I'm hot?"

Luke: "Not anymore. I have annihilated them. They have been taken out of the picture."

Me: "I see. Well, uhh...thanks, babe."

Luke: "You're welcome."

My hero.


4.) He's an introvert.

Not exactly what you would call a social butterfly.
He's not shy, he naturally carries himself with boldness and confidence, but it takes him a while to get to know people or let them get to know him. But because he has such a quiet strength about him...it can scare people. Or make them think that he doesn't like them.
I think it's hot though. In a Bouncer/Secret Service/Clint Eastwood sort of way.
Don't take it personally.

5.) He can be really awkward.

This is mostly due to #4.
It's not a 'I try too hard' kind of awkward, just a 'I couldn't care less about this conversation so I'm just going to not say anything or walk away leaving it up to my wife to laugh nervously and say something really stupid about her shoes and then go look for wine.' kind of awkward.
It makes us a really special couple.


6.) His favorite food is Lasagna.

I make it for him for every Anniversary, Valentines Day, and Birthday that I can. Because he requests it every time.
I should probably go get started on the ones that I'm making tonight actually...


7.) He started going bald at 22 years old.

THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT HE WAS 22 WHEN HE MET ME.
Haha, just kidding.
Kind of.
He gets it from his mom's side of the family. All the men are bald and have beards by the age of 12.
It's a redneck thing. Whatev.


8.) He uses a safety razor.

This was one of the first things that made me want to marry him.

I saw his toiletries. Realized that he uses the same shaving system that Cary Grant did, and fell in love.

9.) He smokes pipe tobacco.

At night after the kids are in bed, before we settle down to watch a movie or something, he'll go out to the garage (aka his man cave) to have a beer, smoke his pipe, and unwind a little.
I love that he does it.
Plus he comes back in the house smelling like all sorts of hunky manliness. Mmmm.


10.) He owned his first home when he was 21 years old.

Which for a young, single bachelor... is pretty impressive.



11.) He loves the show Duck Dynasty

And he's alarmingly similar to Phil Robertson.

Filthy rich rednecks hunting squirrels and blowing crap up.
Can't beat it. We love watching it together.
It's on A&E, check it out sometime.

(Like.. right now.)



12.) He's incredibly responsible and wise with money.

You may call him Luke, or Dave Ramsey Jr., which ever you prefer.

He's awesome with numbers, rocks our monthly budget like no one's business, and easily understands and manages things like stocks and mutual funds.
Basically the things that make me cry for my mommy and turn my brain into tapioca.

But I'm so thankful that he has that quality. I don't have to stress about any financial pressure because I know he's got it taken care of. And I know how rare that is.



13.) He likes younger women.

 Haha, just kidding.

Only me.

I'm 6 years younger than him.



14.) He loves being a father.

This man adores his kids. And he's so good with them.

He tenderly loves them, has a great time playing with them, and enjoys teaching them.

15.) He's owned 16 cars in his life.

WHICH IS RIDICULOUS.
Considering he's been driving for less than 16 years.
When he was single, that's just kind of what he spent his money on. But he would buy them and sell them with cash, so they weren't just stupid mistakes or anything.
At one point, he owned 5 cars at one time. WHO NEEDS 5 CARS??
Most of the time we've been married, we've owned 3.
But now were down to 2.

You know..like normal people.


16.) Spelling isn't really his thing.

He's actually quite terrible at it. And I lovingly give him crap about it all the time.
He'll text me something sweet like "Your beautiful."

To which I'll sigh, roll my eyes, and respond "It's 'You're'. But thank you, sweetie"

Not his strongsuit. Oh well.
You win some, you lose some.


17.) He is all about slap-stick comedy.

Whether it's Chris Farley being dragged behind a car with his pants on fire, or our kid tripping over a shoe and doing a summersault over her bean bag chair...Luke cannot stop laughing.


18.) He loves classic country music.

Willie Nelson. Waylon Jennings. Johnny Cash.
He loves the greats.

And I'm pretty sure being forced to attend a Miranda Lambert concert would his ultimate nightmare.



19.) He was born at the Mayo Clinic.

Which is an interesting fact to people who aren't from Minnesota.


20.) He loves to read.

Books are his love language. He loves to learn and grow, and reading is his favorite way to do that.


21.) He brews his own beer.

Which is delicious. Feel free to swing by sometime and have one with us.


22.) He sucks at relaxing.

I mean, he doesn't have a problem unwinding at night with a movie or a book, but during the day he absolutely needs to be working on something or getting projects accomplished so that he doesn't go insane.

For example, when we were on OUR HONEYMOON, first thing in the morning he'd be all "Ok, well we should get up and get going so that we can get stuff done."

I was like ..Get stuff.. done?.. What stuff? Were at a cabin in the mountains! What is there to get done but sleep and drink wine in the hot tub?!

I still have no idea what he was talking about.

He's a freak.


23.) He loves pie.

Which is new to me.
I don't prefer my fruit cooked.
And I'm still learning how to master the whole crust situation.


24.) He is passionate about God and His Word.

I had never met any man who had so much gospel-centered integrity before Luke. It's something I've always admired about him and it's helped shape and encourage my faith immensely. I'm thankful for his boldness, his unwavering faith, and his constant longing to grow deeper in the Word.


25.) He's never seen a musical before.

This is obviously my biggest failure as a wife.

Singing in the Rain. The Sound of Music. Phantom of the Opera. My Fair Lady. Oklahoma.

Nothing.

It's pathetic. And I really need to fix this.



26.)  He's a hard worker.

See #22.

But really, while he happily works his butt off for us, He's good about coming home and being here with us. It's a good, and rare, balance of not being a lazy oaf or a workaholic.


27.) He desperately needs to read the Harry Potter books.

(Shameless plug.)

Hunny? If you're reading this, I want you to know that I got you the entire series in hardcover for your birthday and also a babysitter for the next 3 days so that I can read them all to you without interruption until the end. You're welcome.



28.) When he was 17, he rebuilt a 1971 Oldsmobile Cutlass.

He bought it at a police auction for a few hundred bucks, took the engine out, and rebuilt it, piece by piece.

...I don't exactly know what all of that entails... but I know that it's pretty stinkin' cool.

This picture is of him and his best friend, Kevin, (and their beloved cars) back when they were young hooligans who wore baggy clothes and their baseball caps backwards and did questionably legal things.

Oh, the good ol' days.

(And Luke looks like Tom Cruise here.)



29.) He has his name engraved on a keg in a brewery.

Because he drank an EPIC amount of beer there.

And that, ladies and gentleman, is what being young and going through a bad break-up will do to you.

YOU'LL GET AWARDS FOR IT.


30.) Turning 30 doesn't phase him AT ALL.

I've been asking him lately if he feels weird, or old, or scared of being that much closer to needing dentures.. and He really isn't.
He's just always looking forward to what the future holds and excited at what's in store for us.

Happy Birthday to my amazing, protective, mashed-potato-loving, weird, awkward, smokin' hot farmer husband. 

I love growing older with you.

She Reads Truth

Happy New Year, People!

Being Resolution time and all, this is when half of us go Ok, This year I really need to read the Bible more. Like...at least twice. Maybe three times, if I'm doing really awesome. But let's not push it.

Here's a pretty raw confession: I suck at reading my Bible every day.

Self-discipline and consistency have never been natural strong suits of mine. They're qualities that I've really had to grow into, and fail a lot at, before I figure it out at all in specific areas of my life. 

For instance, the fact that I feed my child lunch EVERY SINGLE DAY makes me feel like I deserve my own float in a parade or something. Way to go, Me.

I tend to over-think it, whether about how long or in-depth devotions have to be... so then I get overwhelmed and just give up. 

And then I feel like I suck even more, which hinders me from bothering to try again.

MAKES PERFECT SENSE.

I'm saying all of this just to say, when I really think about it.. I'm probably not alone in this.

Maybe you struggle with the same thing.

(Or maybe you don't and you think I'm an idiot. And I'm fine with that. BECAUSE I REMEMBER TO FEED MY KIDS EVERY DAY, SO HA!)

Anywho, because we all fall short in one way or another, and because it's a new year for new goals, and because His mercies are new every morning.. I thought I'd share the awesome resource for daily bible reading and devotions that I've been using for a couple of months now. 

WHAT IT IS:

An online movement of women committed to daily reading and being changed by God's word. Each day you can follow the links to the She Reads Truth site (Click Here to go to it.)  to interact with other women, share your thoughts & comments, and be encouraged to keep reading.

WHAT I LOVE ABOUT IT:

 It's short, but challenging.

In the season of life I'm in, it's just not realistic for me to bust out Systematic Theology, do an in-depth greek study on Verbal Plenary Inerrancy, followed by 16 hours of UNDISTURBED(What does that mean?) meditation and prayer.

I WISH!

(...Not really...)

(..Well.. maybe just not that last part.)

(...I get bored easily.)

With She Reads Truth, they offer a small bible reading, anywhere between a couple verses, up to a chapter, and then a short devotional to give you food for thought on the scripture.

And that's exactly what I, personally, need right now.

It feeds me spiritually. It is applicable and practical to real life. It inspires me in my walk with God. It challenges me to grow in His word. 

HOW TO DO IT:

-Go to their website. Check it out, explore, get a feel for how it's done.

-Download the YouVersion app on your smartphone. If you don't have a smart phone, you can just login via your web browser.

After creating an account, go to the Plans section and search for 'She Reads Truth'. Their new reading plan is called 'Fresh Start', click on 'Start This Plan'.

(It's so nice having it on your phone, making it so available wherever you are.)

-Sign up to have the devotionals emailed directly to your inbox.

(I love this for the sake of my biggest challenge being that I FORGET TO READ THE FLIPPIN' BIBLE. This is a fantastic and accessible reminder.)

-Follow @shereadstruth on Twitter and Instagram. 

(Also great reminders.)

-Keep a journal. Write down your thoughts, what God is revealing to you and convicting you about, thoughts and verses that stick out to you. Pray on paper. 

Take a picture of it and share it on Instagram, using the hashtag #shereadstruth. Inspire, challenge and connect with others.

(I love this because I'm super visual, and beautiful pictures inspire me. Does that make sense? Plus it's a great way to get the word out to your friends and followers who might be looking for a devotional plan that works for them too. Hence the term Social Networking. Love it. So useful.)

Whether you are a mom, who is hungry for a moment in God's Word, but don't even get the time to flippin' pee by yourself; or you just have a crazy busy job and life and you need some structure to help you stay committed with it; or heck, maybe your world is totally chill and normal but feel the need for that sense of community and connectedness with other women who are trying to be faithful with it like you are- try She Reads Truth and see if it works for you.

Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't.

What's most important is Him. His Word.

And it all being for His glory.